Let’s face it. . . invisible illness can have its humorous moments if we look for them.



You Know You Have a Chronic Illness When… ­

  • Your medical records have to be transported on a cart and cost $4,372 to get copies of.
  • To entertain people at parties you recite the side effects of medications as if you are the voice over on a commercial.
  • You would love to have a pair of Dr. Oz’s purple gloves just to freak out your friends when you are making meatloaf.
  • When you hear the term “Club Med” you automatically think of the hospital.
  • The pharmacist brings your medications to the counter without you having to give him your name. . . and then asks how the kids are and tells you about his vacation.
  • To get rid of boredom on road trips, your whole family can go through the alphabet and name a drug that starts with each letter of the alphabet.
  • When you’re unable to sleep because of pain, you watch “The Real Housewives” and feel like you actually have a life–because it could always be worse.
  • Your spelling has improved dramatically, especially on words like “fibromyalgia” and “osteoporosis.”
  • When anyone around you has an accident you have a complete First Aid kit of bandages, ointments, sanitizers, etc.
  • You have a hot water bottle in your desk at work for pain emergencies.
  • you’ve been “Around the World in Thirty Minutes” with CNN’s Headline News 57 times in one sitting.
  • Your friends on social networks have no idea what you actually look like anymore because all you post as your profile image are awareness ribbons.
  • You earn $20 cash back a month from your pharmacy’s bonus points.
  • You have a panic attack in public and say, “Praise God this is only the fourth one today!”
  • You’re invited to the wedding of the gal who works at the hospital lab.
  • You drop a bagel upside down on your pajama top–the third day in a row. But then you realize the last morning your PJ top is on inside out anyway.
  • Someone says, “You are looking so good” and it actually makes you feel a bit frustrated, rather than flattered.
  • You’re child thinks watching you do injections of medication is “cool.”
  • You have a flashback and don’t know what happened and can honestly say, “I don’t know where I was or what I was doing but I’ll make something up if you’d like.”
  • You carry hand-sanitizer with you everywhere and aren’t afraid to use it.
  • Your child can’t tell the difference between your PJs and your clothes because everything is loose-fitting and black.
  • You shake hands with your left hand so it throws people off enough that they don’t squeeze your hand.
  • You know every scripture about healing and can finish people’s sentences when they try to quote them to you.
  • The teen children of your friends call to see if they could interview you for a paper in their health class.
  • It’s more fun to find “cute pajamas” than actual clothes.
  • You actually enjoy talking to telemarketers because they can’t really hang up on you and you can use them for a therapy session.
  • You leave up “Get Well” cards on your mantel for months so people understand why your house is so messy.

Copyright, Lisa Copen, Reprint permission granted if the following is included: R e p r i n t e d w i t h p e r m i s s i o n o f a u t h o r , L i s a C o p e n , C o p y r i g h t 2 0 1 2 . F i n d o u t m o r e a b o u t N a t i o n a l I n v i s i b l e C h r o n i c I ll n e s s A w a r e n e s s W e e k  a t h t t p : / / w w w .i n v i s i b l e ill n e s s w e e k . c o m


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